Crappy First Drafts

For some time now I’ve been telling myself that I will create a consistent routine to write on Medium and for some time now, I haven't done anything about it. I kept telling myself that I’m too busy, or you know the lame excuse how I have so many other things on my mind that I just can't sit down and write.

Truth be told, I’ve just been scared to write a shitty first draft.

Wow, there it is, I said it.

Yes, I’ve been afraid to not be as good as I think I am. I’ve been afraid that I have to make an effort to become a good writer. I’ve been afraid to read the crappy first drafts I’ve written, and what's worst, I’ve been afraid to edit them.

The truth about first drafts, or anything in life is that it brings up a lot of emotions. Editing my first drafts somehow makes me afraid of realizing that one of the things I want to do the most is something I suck in.

I’m in the process of getting my first apartment and it’s been terrifying. The day I signed my lease, instead of being happy, I was overwhelmed with doubt.

I had so many questions and thoughts, but I tend to realize that the questions we often ask ourselves about anything that makes us uncomfortable are always the same.

“Do I have what it takes to do this?”

“Do I even want to do this?”

“Am I good enough to do this?”

These questions are just a fear response.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of not being in control.

Fear of not having what it takes to maintain the things we say we want.

It’s safe to say that all things worth doing will cause fear and we simply can't avoid it, but we can keep moving forward.

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